Why success is the journey, not the destination

There is a parable I like about an investment banker who meets a fisherman in a small coastal fishing village. The banker was impressed by the fisherman’s transport and even more impressed when he learned that it had not taken the fisherman long. However, instead of staying out and catching more, the fisherman told the banker that he would while away the rest of the day spending time with his family, drinking wine and playing guitar with his friends.

This confused the banker, who advised the fisherman what to do really so are you spending more time catching fish. He could then buy a bigger boat, then a fleet, and eventually own the entire operation, from processing the fish to distributing them. The fisherman would go to a large city, from where he would command his enterprise. Eventually, his business would go public and the fisherman would become rich. All this would take about 20 years.

“Well, okay … and then what?” asked the fisherman.

“Then comes the good part,” replied the banker. “Then you can spend time with your family, drink wine and play guitar with your friends.”

For entrepreneurs, success is often defined by a few well-used metrics—funding rounds, revenue growth, ROI, IPOs, etc. But as a founder, I can promise you that fulfillment doesn’t happen by hitting some magic number or target. Here’s how to think about it instead.

Success vs. Satisfaction

Here’s the problem with chasing an endless series of goals: They’ll never be enough. Headbands of Hope founder Jess Ekstrom said it very well The entrepreneur: “There are times when I think a certain tangible goal like a TV placement or a certain number of sales will translate into that feeling of success, but it never does,” she writes. “Then one day I wake up and realize I’m sitting on a plane living out all my biggest dreams. But in my head, I’m already checking for my next flight.”

Endless chasing is a recipe for misery and burnout, both of which commonly afflict entrepreneurs. And then there’s depression: A study found that 72% of successful entrepreneurs suffer from depression and other mental health issues.

So how do you get off the “never enough” hamster wheel? Writing away Harvard Business Review, Ron Carucci explains that our brains are wired to reward us when we achieve our goals, specifically in the form of the neurotransmitter dopamine. But this pleasure is short-lived, as our brain is also bound to achieve balance from extreme emotional states.

“This leaves us with an empty desire to repeat whatever experience brought us that pleasure in the first place,” Carucci writes, adding that, “This seemingly problematic cycle throws our barometers of ‘sufficiency’ completely out of whack. preventing us from being able to objectively measure whether what we have achieved is, in fact, satisfactory.”

The good news is that these barometers can be recalibrated by learning to see “success and satisfaction as independent variables.” Instead of keeping score, look at the contributions you’ve made to the greater good, the connections you’ve made and the opportunities you’ve had. Focusing on the quality of the work you’re doing and the life you’ve created will ultimately feel far more satisfying than chasing an ephemeral metric that can always be higher.

No, more work does not equal more fulfillment

We all know the trope of the startup founder’s schedule: Before the birds, no shower, radiating stress, surrounded by takeout containers—you get the idea. And of course, there are times when this is the case. When I was starting my company, I spent more than a few sleepless nights writing until the sun came up. But the idea that it has to be this way all the time? No way.

In a post on “unpopular opinions” on Indie Hackers, several contributors debunked the myth that every entrepreneur’s goal is to work themselves to the bone in the eternal pursuit of “more.” More funding. More users. More press. But for a growing number of entrepreneurs, just being content and comfortable is enough.

Magai’s Dustin Stout, for example, shared his belief that entrepreneurship need not be a struggle. “Except for the occasional crisis, I don’t work after dinner and I don’t work on Sundays. I try to keep healthy work hours that don’t sacrifice my family time,” he said.

Jay Tan of Zylvie had a similar thought, writing that your business is supposed to serve you, not the other way around. “Take a break and smell the roses, travel a little and enjoy your hobby,” he wrote. “Most indie hackers kill themselves for their business and end up miserable without any work-life balance. In my opinion, they are completely missing the point of entrepreneurship.”

These may be filed under “unpopular opinions,” but actually, I’m seeing this mentality popping up everywhere these days—and that’s a good thing. You have one life to live and you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Desperately drifting away in pursuit of some distant notion of “success” is a recipe for disaster.

Breaking out of the hedonic routine

Like any job, you won’t love every minute of being an entrepreneur.

I don’t think you have to be passionate about your product, but you have to find joy in what you’re building. Justin Kan, Twitch co-founder and serial entrepreneur, shared in a conversation with Stanford’s eCorner that for him, the times he’s been happiest in his career are when he reaches a state of flow.

“For me, there have been moments like that in building a product or programming — things I really enjoy doing,” he said. For people trying to figure out where to start, Kahn advises looking inward: “What’s the thing that gives you joy to do every day? That’s what I think about right now… what would I do if nobody would he pay me for it, if no one was watching, if it was only for my edification?”

Kahn hit every stereotypical marker of success that exists, but he wasn’t immune to comparing himself to others and felt he had more to achieve. He said that quitting wasn’t because he had finally “made it.”

“I went through a series of life events where I realized this is a hedonic routine that could go on forever and I’m always going to be unhappy and maybe happiness doesn’t come from external things,” he explained.

Now, Khan focuses on the aspects of his life that bring him fulfillment – working with people he likes, on projects he likes. From the outside, it looks like he’s doing the same thing he’s always done – the difference is his mindset.

I’m not suggesting that every entrepreneur doesn’t need to have goals, or that your company will magically succeed as long as you enjoy the ride. After all, the fisherman had to catch a certain amount before going home to spend time with his family and friends. But the idea that success always requires more is a myth. Sometimes, enough is enough.